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where I’m at right nowI am not a workaholic at heart. It’s not my nature, nor my style. I got into sex work for the honesty in the profession and for the financial freedom and because I like feeling sexy. But here’s the thing, I’m working a fuck of a lot and not getting anywhere, mostly in part because of the economy, my lack of savings (apart from Feckshare) and ability to financially plan. I got into sex work so that I would have time to do other things, not so that I could just disappear into the void that is the internet. But here I am doing just that. I’m sitting in sweat pants and I haven’t showered or worked out today because I’ve been busy planning, marketing and putting up listings on EBANNED for my used panties. Wow, what a way to spend a day. I took two weeks off from escorting to spend time on my body and me. I felt like my energy was getting scattered and that I wasn’t cleaning house enough after appointments. But I’m still not satisfied. I keep getting this feeling like I just want to lay in the dirt, I want to bury myself in it. I need the ocean (but there’s been tons of man-of-wars lately). The only thing I can translate this to is a need for nature (duh). A week or two ago I decided that it was time to do something major. This just isn’t working. I take escorting appointments, I do cam shows on niteflirt, all for what? So I can pay rent and keep on doing that? Where’s the acheivement? What’s the point? Don’t get me wrong, I love my work, all of it. But I’ve never seen the point in just working to work. Just working to pay the bills and keep going without having anything put away, no breaks, no adventure, no creativity (apart from how you market your used panties?)….ugh. I’m not a fan of the rat race that is consumerism. I don’t see a lot of sense in accumulating a bunch of stuff so that you can pay for the space so that you can keep working to pay for more stuff and then a bigger space. Not my style. I’m not balancing my life enough right now, its all work and no play, which makes Sequoia a grumpy bitch. So I’ve narrowed it down to possibilities and here are my choices: save up for a VW bus and drive ANYWHERE (but thats another bill), go back to Australia to make more cool porn and profit, or go hike on the Appalachian trail for six months and disconnect. I’ve settled on the trail. I’m going to be training for it for a couple months and then in March or April I’ll take off to Georgia to do it. I’m done with just getting by without any fun. Yes, this is spoiled and privileged of me, no sex work is not SUCH a bad place to be stuck. But I’m not happy and I’ve spent the past couple years making other people happy and horny and fulfilled. It’s my turn now, bitches. If you’re feeling generous and would like to contribute, here’s my wishlist, most of the things added recently have to do with the trail and any one of them would help out alot: http://amzn.com/w/3FDTU18A57428 I’m still keeping the blog and I’ll probably still post stuff while hiking, so this isn’t a goodbye or anything, just a shift in gears, I suppose. (and garden blogs are on the way…) 36 comments to where I’m at right now |
 "Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there..." -Rumi 
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[...] This post was Twitted by SequoiaRedd [...]
I’m sure going to miss you, but I am just as sure that hiking the trail is going to be an experience you’ll remember forever. I still remember sailing to the Galapagos Islands when I was a wee lad of 16 as one of the best experiences of my life. I hope you have an awesome time and I expect to see some great pictures of your trip when you get back.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Nicky Chaleunphone, SequoiaRedd. SequoiaRedd said: where I'm at right now – http://sequoiaredd.com/blog/2009/12/where-im-at-right-now/ [...]
If your planing to hike the Appalachian trail , let me know part of the trail runs through my state in Connecticut and I can hike the Connecticut portion with you if you want. I think you should do what your heart tells you, I think if you have the heart and drive to do that you love and enjoy. I think you should keep doing it.
The AT connects with a dope disc golf course in Blacksburg, VA
Add a crate of snickers to your wishlist lol
http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20135970,00.html
Looking through your wishlist: what – no Bill Bryson ‘A Walk in the Woods’!?
To be serious for a moment – are you sure the backpack and shoes you’ve chosen fit ok? i.e. you’ve tried both in a shop somewhere (though is there anywhere in Florida that does such items???) and are finding better prices online? Ok, I’ve got ‘weird’ feet and need to be very choosy on running footwear in particular, but 2000+ miles is a long way in duff footwear… and even longer with an uncomfortable backpack!
Slightly off-topic now, but I’m quite astonished by the number of AT ‘how-to’ books! Though I suspect the UK’s good’ol Pennine Way has just as many, in fact probably more – blimely, jut realised that its 20 years since I did it! [slopes off to feel old]
Back to being serious, if you’re not used to walking all day carrying a lot of weight on your back, its your ‘core’ muscles rather than the legs that really get it, specially the muscles in the lower part of the back – look up the exercise known as ‘Bruce Lees’ to work them – though it is possibly the least dignified exercise in the world…
I’m tempted to suggest getting ‘treking poles’ with the caveat that they are a liability on really rocky ground (i.e. you end up going slower as you try and pick the best placements for them) though that may be my innate incompetence (!) rather than any real issue. Oh, and don’t be concerned about being heavier at the end of the trip than you were at the beginning due to increasing your proportion of muscle! I was at my heaviest (well, nearly) when I finished the PW – and that was only 3 weeks and we were taking it easy and larking about.
It will be one helluva adventure, with a no-doubt unusual cast of characters – just make sure you’ve got a spare battery and memory card if you’re taking you’re “big” camera!
Mmmmm – another big reply – anyway – have a wonderful time! (Though it seems slightly silly to say this now as you’re not starting it until April!)
It sounds like this is something you need to do, and you’ll have a great time doing it I’m sure. I would wait until May or June though, the trail is a bit easier at that time.
You should read both the Total Money Makeover and The Millionaire Next Door. Also, I recommend the Appalachian trail.
Hi I’m a first time reader, part time blogger for things that cross my mind. I really appreciate the effort you put into your sites, lots of interesting items and thoughts. It’s amazing sometimes how the Gemini complex dominates my actions. I too was worn out this morning, thinking of a master plan ala Rakim. Hope your trip is warm one, never been to Oz or Applay way, enjoy yourself.
be well,
Steve
This sounds like a great idea to me! I will try to keep up with your planning and pitch in when I can.
I’ve not encountered a single modern ill that can’t be cured with some alone time in nature. Granted that that nature cooperates by not being too harsh with one’s physical self.
I’ve wanted to go backpacking alone for some time now, but everyone in my life has always been very discouraging — ie a woman should never go off in the woods by herself. I can’t wait to find out how it goes, and I’m sure you will do spectacularly!
Shoes: I’ve read a ton of articles online, no I”m not positive about the shoes, which is why someone should buy them for me so I can test them out.
I already said I was going to start training, which includes running in the loose sand, power walks in the loose sand, with a backpack.
I don’t think I need the poles, anything I can get away with not carrying would be great and I would rather have my hands free.
I’d like to start in Spring since it takes 5-7 months to complete
thanks! any help that anyone feels like giving at all is deeply appreciated and if there’s anything that someone may want in return, don’t hesitate to let me know.
also, I couldn’t find that exercise you were talking about online
Love your idea to go backpacking, but you better do some reseach on the equipments. The pair of shoes in Amazon is not going to do it. And I don’t think the hike would help you to figure out what to do with your life. You need a good partner that care about you and can help and guide you. Go find someone to get you out of the rut.
Nothing wrong with taking a break. Hope you’ll be keeping a written and photo journal of your travels on the trail. Who knows you may get some good material for a journal/photo book from this. I know it’s a bit off from now but, please be careful and prepare yourself well for the trip. Do you plan on taking a video camera with you as well ? Maybe you could do a series about how you deal with the hardships and complexities on the trail itself. When it’s edited down you could have a good web series which you could make some money from( I know that is not your primary motivation here but there’s nothing wrong with making some money from your adventure). Good luck with your preparation and the hike itself.
actually they have gotten people through the trail, I looked at purebound.com for equipment advice and one guy reported getting through the whole trail on three pairs of new balance.
two sisters hiked the trail BAREFOOT.
its not really the equipment that gets you there, its your mentality.
I would appreciate it, that if people want to give me advice, instead of just slamming my idea and saying “no thats wrong”, they also provided a SOLUTION and a reason for it etc.
Have you ever hiked before? At all? Anywhere? Long distance at least?
Point taken about the footwear and the poles.
Training carrying a backpack (especially in loose sand!) should give you pretty much everything you need: my only concern about the lower back just came from personal experience and from people I know who’d done long distance with heavy packs with only fitness training beforehand.
Regarding the ‘Bruce Lees’ exercise – I’ve only every heard of it by that name – its actually quite similar to the Yoga ‘bridge’ pose, but repeated. I’d expect it to turn up in any reasonably comprehensive work on lower back exercises, and here’s a text description that I’ve got in front of me right now:
1) Lie on your back with your arms out to the sides (palms down), legs bent at about 90 degrees, feet flat on the floor.
2) Simultaneously press down with your feet and shoulders to lift your hips and lower back off the floor pushing your hips as far toward the ceiling as comfortable (there shouldn’t be a ‘crimping’ sensation where the spine joins the pelvis).
3) Hold this position for one second then return gently to the start position.
4) Repeating for 10 is fairly good, 20 is hard, 30 or more and you’re a superhero!
5) Rest for about 3 minutes and do another set.
Hopefully this will be of value to you.
Interestingly (or not!) very long distance walks don’t need much in the way of Cardiovascular (CV) fitness over and above what someone who does at or just more than the recommended weekly exercise amount: it’s usually muscular fatigue that becomes the limit. This info comes from once chatting to a couple of very ordinary looking people (in their 50s) who it turned out, were about to embark on a organised 100 mile walk (time limit 36 hours iirc): their training was just lots and lots of distance for muscular conditioning – no emphasis on CV work at all.
Back to your preparations: all-in-all it sounds like you’ve got it well-sorted and well-planned, so good luck and happy training
I ill be following with interest…
Having just seen your reply to ‘Luv’ above: my history is a after an asthma-induced rather sedentary childhood, I got into mountain walking at University after completing the Pennine Way (270 miles) just before starting, and ended up living in an area chock full of descent walking, running, climbing, biking terrain (and ski-ing given the weather here recently!) which are all sports I now indulge in to varying levels of success (and, unfortunately, injury!) Collectively, they keep me sane and my entire social world revolves around them (and photography, since we have a very active Flickr group locally).
Fundamentally footwear (and backpacks – its so hard not to type rucksacks as we refer to them here in the UK!) – is so much a matter of fit and personal preference that advice can only really be a bit vague. Sorry. There’s nothing wrong with the footwear you’ve chosen (I run on hard & rocky off-road surfaces in an older men’s version of them after all) if they fit you well. Generally lighter is better if durability is not compromised. My main experience is on muddy ground where the kit is rather different…
awesome! I didn’t mean to come off as bitchy, just wanted to make sure people actually knew what they were talking about and not just running their mouths..or keyboards? lol
Sorry if I upset you. I do have many years of experience of backpacking. The most recent one took me 7 days carrying a 60 lb backpack. My trails are mountainous, full of sharp rocks and scree that literally cut the soles to shreds. Because of the terrain, ankle support is very important because the surface is never flat. I’m not familiar with the trails that you are going to take, so I’m out of line as my experience might not apply.
My opinion about boots – light, good sole, hold your feet (feet should not move in boots), ankle protection, waterproof. Fit and comfort are given.
My appology,again.
i have been wanting to do the trail as well. lets do it together and write a book about it
How did I miss this till now? Congratulations!! Let me know if you want my input about food.
And lemme guess, Luv thinks he’s the one to save you and give you direction (towards his cock)? LOL, only luv can save you! Haha!
yeah luv needs to learn his name. d-o-u-c-h-e
“Where’s the achievement? What’s the point?”
I remember going through witchvox one night and finding you there. I remember reading your blogs and the things you wrote about sexuality. And I remember smiling, because for the very first time I saw someone else argue the exact same numerous points I’ve championed for so long.
I remember thinking how great it was to have another soul, local to me, interested in magic and the open, non-commercial expression of sexuality. While I personally believe commoditizing sex is an extremely harmful thing to the ultimate goals, it is the system we are forced to live in and so if that is the case, playing in it is not so bad if you do so with the conscious knowledge and intent to change the paradigm.
And when I read what you have to say on things, I believe that you feel the same way, too. I believe you are a sex worker for two reasons: it’s natural to you and the type of person you are to use this as a way to survive, and you see it as a vessel upon which you can call forth the wind of change.
Perhaps I am wrong, though. Perhaps my intuition is not on target there. Even if this is the case, I would imagine that after everything, of all people YOU can see the light in what I speak here.
Sequoia. You are a wonderful soul. Do you know what the achievement is? Do you know what the point is? It’s affecting the world in a positive way and in the way we need it the absolute most. There is so much hatred and pain and darkness in this world; most “normal” people see it now, too, never mind those of us attuned to the magical ways. There is nothing more healing than sex. There is no stronger magic, no firmer link between multiple souls. And what you do is help those who, for whatever reason, are not fully there with their holistic sexual needs. (You charge them, of course, but from what I read I think if given the choice to have all your bills magically paid but still “work,” for free, you would do this.)
So the real achievement that comes from what you do is you are furthering the ultimate goal. You are making the world that much better of a place. It has taken me a very large chunk of my 23 years on this planet to realize that I cannot change the entire world by myself. What I can do, though, is change my small section of it, and hope that in doing so, I inspire others to change their small section in the way I’d desire, and so on and so forth, and maybe grand things can happen.
It saddens me that you feel unfulfilled. I suppose this is more to do with the economic situation than what you do, though. But you are a fighter, Sequoia. I’ve seen this in you all along, ever since I began periodically lurking what you write. You are a fighter for love, for peace, for prosperity, for sexuality, for magic…
Though, sometimes the bell does toll and you get to retreat to your corner. This is okay. Let the bell toll; go on up to the Appalachian Trial. But be ready, because soon thereafter the bell will toll again, and it will be time to answer it. It will be time to step up and join the fight once more. And though you may never even notice it, there are many of us fighting alongside you. We will make this a better place, dearest Sequoia. We will.
Keep it up… there’s much ahead of us. =)
<3
- Annul
Omg, take me with you! I’m in Atlanta, and that’s been a lifelong dream of mine. I’ve got a bunch of camping gear too. Spent a couple weeks camping in the Smoky Mountains last April. It was breathtaking, but at night it dipped into the low 20′s, so heads up on that. Thank god I had my chubby ex gf to snuggle with. hehe
Anyway, at my age… and because I’m a *cough* smoker… I’d probably keel over and croak after about 10 miles, but, at least I’d die a happy man, doing what I love. Just roll me in a drainage ditch and carry on!
Btw, I didn’t see a shotgun on your wish list. Don’t forget there’s bears in them thar hills! If you truly decide to embark upon this arduous adventure, I hope you plan it well, and go with a sizable, experienced group. I’m looking forward to seeing how this pans out.
Let me know when you’ll be crossing NY or CT. If you find you want company I’d love to meet up with you again and hiking is something I love but don’t do often enough. My partner and I have talked about hiking the whole trail but have never made serious plans. Would love to hear all about your experience!
If you want an intensely social hike, the AT is the best choice. If you want slightly less people, easier walking, more remote/spectacular scenary: the Pacific Crest Trail. If you want the wildest, hardest, skill-testing, frustrating, estactic, and most wildlife: the Continental Divide Trail. I know slightly whereof i speak, having been in the first 100 to complete the AT, and failed at completing the other 2 (so far). I was lucky enough to have hiked the AT when there were only a couple of dozen thru-hikers each year, rather than hundreds. BTW, the first hikers to adopt their own ‘trailnames’ were women, in 1972. They had chosen Lakota names, one of which translated as ‘Little Mountain’, and the other as ‘Bear’. I cannot even attempt the pronounciation/spelling of their Lakota names, and since they opted not to sign registers, there is no record of them, but they did complete the Trail, as i heard later, so, when someone trys to foist the idea upon you that other hikers have to bestow your ‘trailname’, and that this is a tradition, that’s bullshit, ’cause the first to do so were self-actualized women who chose for themselves, in 1972. The most experienced hikers of all three trails hang out at the three backcountry.net mailing lists, although there are a few poseurs on the at-l list, and some total jerks on the pct-l list, although they are minor irritations compared to the wealth of experience to be found on all three lists. Several of the hikers on the cdt-l have completed all three major hiking trails, (triple-crowners) in addition to many shorter trails. Hiking is perhaps unique in that you can actually meet and talk to some of the ‘superstars’ of the long-distance backpacking community: there is a gathering known as a ruck coming up shortly, on superbowl weekend, known as the southern ruck, or soruck. I’ll go make sure that i have the website address right and make another comment on it. The hiker known as Sly organizes it, and he and several other triple crowners, as well as *many* people who have completed the AT and PCT will be there.
Southern Ruck info @ http://www.soruck.net and there is also a Facebook page under Southern Ruck
OOps! i almost forgot: there is a women’s-only hiking-list at backcountry.net also: just go to http://mailman.backcountry.net/pipermail/at-l/2010-January/date.html and join/post a message requesting info on the women’s list, or write one of the women, or contact the list admin @ ryan@backcountry.net . One of the women has to speak to you on the phone to verify gender, or so i’ve been told.
Three more links that are equipment related: http://www.backpackgeartest.org
http://www.backpackinglight.com http://steepandcheap.com the last one can be really addictive, hide your credit card….the not-so-well-kept secret to freeing your mind on a long distance hike: free your body by carrying as little weight as possible without compromising safety…which leads me to offer one bit of unsolicited advice: the tent and sleeping bag that you have listed on amazon are *way* to heavy, unless you’re planning on sharing the weight with someone else. The AT is essentially a bunch of 3-5 day hikes, repeated over and over for 5-7 months, so you really don’t have to carry an excess of gear unless you want to punish yourself. Most people manage just fine with 25-35 lbs leaving each town.
again DUDES! I *really* appreciate the advice but if you’re going to slam what I decided to bring with me or what I put on my wishlist then also suggest a SOLUTION!!
I hate when people complain about something but can’t come up with something better. So? I’m all ears…if my sleepingbag and tent choices are too heavy which brand/model would you recommend and why? And will you buy them for me too? haha.
Nothing to expensive either, I’m just a small-time hoe.
awesome! I totally will!
I chose the A.T. because it seemed like a good place to start, its failry more accessible to me because its on the east coast and only starts one state north of me, also because its not supposed to be too challenging and a good place for a first time long distance hiker to start.
I wish you the best of luck on the trail! It’s really lovely hiking down south, particularly around Blood Mountain. Though I’ll warn you, the shelter right after Neel’s Gap is *way* far off the trail. If you’re passing through the gap in late afternoon, I don’t advise pushing on to make it to the shelter that night. It was HUGE mistake when I did.
Further advice: You can save a lot of money on gear by making things yourself. There are tons of cool designs for stoves you can build out of old cans, or you could design something yourself!