open letter to clients and customers

Hey Dudes,

Recently, for whatever reason, I’ve been getting a lot of negative attention directed towards me from you from phone calls to the feedback you’re leaving. Although I understand that sexual frustration is hard to deal with, you don’t need to take it out on me. I am not psychic and I am not your virtual punching bag. I’m your best friend, I’m here to help get you off, all you need to do is be honest with me, tell me what you want and we can make some hot stuff happen.

I’m here to help you release all of that tension that builds up throughout the day. After all, we don’t want you to end up like this guy, now do we?

Love,

Sequoia

ps. FurryGirl linked to an interesting article about the shooter