all is quiet on the blog front
All is quiet on the blog front, so here’s an update. Last Monday was my last writing class and I decided not to go. Since I moved a couple hours North it would have been an extra hour on the train to go to a class where I wasn’t receiving any guidance and because some of the other students in the class took FOREVER to read their long boring ass pieces I usually never got to share mine and/or I did and all the teacher would do is regurgitate little lines of the piece and ask me if it was hard to write. Ugh. But, it did make me write because I had something to write for, for some reason I need purpose in my life. The last class I did go to I read aloud a piece I wrote about stripping. I practically shat myself, I don’t know why, my face turned all red, my heart was ramming against my chest and I felt like I was having a real anxiety attack just sitting there reading a freaking vanilla piece about stripping. How lame. Later, I kicked myself because what kind of sex worker activist does that make me if I have a hard time speaking in public about what I do or did in sex work? I can’t really be blamed though because if I do talk about it I usually get one of two different reactions: A. “pity/you’re so fucked up/what were your parents like/ *smirk*/facial expression of horror” or B. “I already know everything there is to do with sex work even though I’ve never done anything like that in my entire life, but I know everything there is to know about it so stop talking”. I find reaction B. especially amusing because its such a testament to where people are today with sex and anything to do with it. Even though we as humans are not, in this culture, taught or shown anything to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and sensuality everyone walks around and acts like they know all about it. Goddess forbid I, lowly whore that I am, enlighten YOU about it. If someone for some reason ends up in a fucked up relationship, they’re stupid and should be blamed for it. If someone is having bad sex they must be a prude or just suck, etc etc. I don’t need to show you the stereotypes, I’m sure you’re well aware of them, oh audience of my blog.
But ANYWAYS, before I spiral down that rant anymore…I found an open mic reader’s night at a local cafe that I thought of dropping in at and seeing what was going on and perhaps growing some metaphorical balls and reading something *gasp*.
This town seems pretty cool though in general, people actually RECYCLE here. I had a hell of a time trying to explain recycling for free in redneckville. And theres a Kava bar, so I tried Kava, which is pretty fucking nasty, but its a different buzz, which I need. I’ve been on the red wine train for too long I miss my herbal treats
I have also decided that I am going to make a plan to stop working on NiteFlirt, probably not permanently, but I don’t want it to be my main source of income anymore. I am hoping to be able to make some what of a switch by Winter. Why? Although I like the comfort of working from home and literally just having the money come to me, which is awesome in this economy, I’m getting real burnt out on all of the computer time I’m putting it. I feel like I’m suffering from ADD from the internet and I’m not really getting anything done. Maybe I just need to be more organized or something. Althought its a phone sex site, I suck at phone sex, so thats why I offer cam as well which is good but that means I can’t do anything that will make me sweaty or dirty because I may at any moment need to jump in front of the cam for a show. So, its time for a change. Like I said, I don’t think I’d give up NF entirely, but I don’t want it to be my main gig anymore.
In other news…the yard has a big ficus tree in front which needs to be thinned out a bit to let the sun in for future crops, so we’ll be working on the yard. Most of the plants that we brought up here seem to be ok so far, they survived the ride.
Oh yes and the beach…ahh…seriously. The water is perfect this time of year and its a five minute bike ride away. They have a drum circle on the beach here every full moon, they’ve had to battle with the city to keep it, but so far it’s here to stay.
People have been asking me recently if I’m still trying to move back to N.C. and the truth is I’m not really sure. I had an astro-cartography chart done recently (a friend did it as a favor) and my Venus and Sun lines cross in the Southeast U.S. so pretty much all of South Florida, Georgia, Alabama and even to New Orleans are good places at this time to be doing business. This town I’m in seems like a cool part of Florida, but FL in general sucks and I know this all too well. But I need to be in a place where I can make money and its not like I have the funds to move all over the place right now. I still need to learn how to drive. Crap.
Now this post that I’m writing has inspired one of those panicked WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!! moments. Jesus. Thanks guys.
I’m out. Photos cumming soooooon.
Mason Jennings – I Love You and Buddha Too (good song)
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